Sneezing

I am not a delicate sneezer, by any stretch of the imagination.  I even think that my sneezing style is the most similar quality that my dad and I share.  First, I get that tickle...the indicator that my face is about to explode.  Then, I take a great big breath and expel all sorts of irritants whilst screaming an enthusiastic aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh chblach!  No, it's not a pretty sneeze and it's definitely not ladylike, but it's real.

For some reason, I sneeze almost every day of my Geology class.  Maybe it's a clear affirmation that I am, in fact, allergic to science.  Or maybe it's because the seasons are changing.  Whatever the case, I sneeze in class--a lot...and no one really bothers to excuse me.  Now, I am not an attention hog, nor do I insist that everyone drop his or her work and shower me with "God Bless You's", but an occasional interest in my well being would be nice.

There is this girl that sits behind me in class, who, like me, also appears to have an allergy to science.  The difference is that she has one of the most delicate sneezes I think I have ever heard.  She hits octaves I didn't know existed with her pixie-like expulsions.  Now, when this girl achoo's, the whole class gets up in arms...people practically kill themselves to excuse her--even our professor excuses her.  

The reaction is so huge that whenever she sneezes, I get this mental image of the entire classroom immediately turning into a church choir, all decked out in glorious purple robes--our professor is the director.  In accordance with the director's signal, every choir member turns around and sings at the top of their lungs "God Bless You".  That is how obvious both her sneezes and well-wishers are.

I always feel a little left out when this happens.  Everyone pays attention to her when she sneezes, but it is as if I don't matter when I sneeze.  In my opinion (and it this is not just because I am the one sneezing), I deserve more "God Bless You's" than she does because my sneezes are so violent.  It honestly sounds like I am dying.  Her sneezes are so delicate that it is obvious she is okay...they are not that intense.  But mine--gosh, mine sound just plain lethal.

So when you hear that awkward kid in the corner let out a beastly sneeze, take a minute and say "God Bless You".  He will really appreciate the affirmation that his peers don't think he is a monster even though his sneezes are so scary.